By Suzanne M. Ellis

Ted Pasinski hasn’t even retired yet, but he’s fairly certain he’ll soon be repeating the mantra of many a retiree: “How did I ever have time to work?”

Come Dec. 31, Pasinski will leave St. Joseph’s Hospital Health Center in Syracuse after a 16-year stint as its president and CEO — and a career at that institution spanning 36 years.

As he prepares to leave decades of 50- to 60-hour work weeks behind, Pasinski said he’s excited about getting busy on the “bucket list” of things he’d like to do in retirement.

“I enjoy golf, and I’m sure there will be a bit more of that,” said Pasinski, 58, who lives in Clay and is a member of the Onondaga Golf & Country Club in Fayetteville. “And I’m sure my wife and I will have quite a bit more flexibility in terms of being able to travel.”

His wife, Diane, is a registered nurse who works parttime at St. Joseph’s College of Nursing and also as an admissions nurse at the hospital. The couple has three grown children.

Neither of the Pasinskis has any plans, at this point, to become snowbirds in retirement.

“The winters don’t totally bother us, and we have a lot of friends and family here, so we don’t plan to go away for months at a time,” Ted Pasinski said.

The Pasinkis’ son lives in Las Vegas, so that will likely become a regular destination, he said.

“And from there, we’ll probably expand the trip and go on to California,” he said. Their two daughters live in Central New York.

Pasinski said he and his wife have always enjoyed cruises and now that retirement is looming, they’re discussing a couple of long ones to Alaska and Hawaii.

“We’ve always talked about an Alaskan cruise. Well, I’ve talked about it more than my wife,” he said, laughing. “And we would both be excited about going to Hawaii, but I think she’d be more excited than I.”

They’ll continue their yearly trips with friends to the coast of Maine, he said, but “now we’ll be able to stay longer.”

Even though he’s not yet retired, Pasinki said, his “honey-do list” seems to be growing longer and he’ll need to do better about taking care of those things.

“There are a number of projects that need to be done around the house that I tend to put off because I don’t have time to get them done,” he said. “What I should be doing is spending a half hour here and there on them, but instead I just tend to put things off.”

Pasinski said volunteering will “absolutely” be a part of his retirement.

“I plan to serve on health care-related boards because that’s one area where I really feel I can help,” he said. “I’ve been approached about serving on some of the many community boards in the area, but I haven’t made any decisions yet.”

Regardless of what retirement brings, Pasinski said, he’s certain he won’t be bored.

“I am the type of person that will want to keep busy,” he said. “I can certainly envision asking myself how I ever had time to work.”

By Elena Corbacio

So this is 70. Wow! Wow, because I’m thrilled to have reached this wonderful age and wow because as I look back on my life I seemed to have dodged many bullets.

For so long I heard, “Don’t do this or that, you’ll pay for it when you get older. Your siblings went through this or that, so you will.”

I could go on and on. I secretly laugh when I hear remarks like that.

I was born July 5, 1939 at 2:30 a.m. I was independent even then. The 4th of July was already a special celebration. I wanted my own special day.

I am the youngest of a large family. I was labeled spoiled and different, but the years have taught me different.

I truly feel people wanted me to be one thing. God another. Time has taught me God won.

He always does. I experience so much inner peace. I wish we all would learn to let go and let God guide us. Life becomes so much easier.

I love starting my day reading scripture, throwing on walking clothes and going for my daily walk.

I love music and dancing. So if it’s bad weather out, I put my music on and do low impact aerobics inside.

I love being around very young children and admire young parents today.

I enjoy volunteer work.

I tell everyone I live by the three P’s—play hard, plan hard, and pray hard.

I enjoy driving people to doctor appointments (all ages) and do this through F.I.S.H.

If I find out a young couple is celebrating a birthday or anniversary, my “gift” to them is to stay with their kids while they go out and celebrate.

It’s a wonderful surprise to them, well received and very much appreciated by them and I get my grandma fix. A win-win situation for all.

I love volunteering over Thanksgiving and Christmas at the Rescue Mission and have given myself this gift for many years now. I’m known for celebrating Christmas for many months after the actual date of 12/25. It’s nice. The gift of time spent with family and friends is a great gift. I stretch Christmas out as long as I can.

I enjoy reading a lot and spend a lot of time doing just that.

I moved into a senior citizen apartment six years ago. Another wonderful gift I gave myself. Far too many people move into a complex like this because their children feel they should. So once they get here, they are not happy.

I moved here because I wanted to. My personal opinion: Move here while you still can move around a lot.

Once you reach the point when you can’t get around easily and have to stay put, you have lots of memories to draw on.

Young people today take good care of themselves. While growing up (at least for me), women didn’t have hobbies. So at 60, I decided I wanted one. I took up ballroom dancing. No, you’ll never see me on “Dancing With The Stars,” but dancing opened many doors for me. I met a lot of nice people. And like I said earlier, now I use what I learned as a form of exercise.

My family is infested with diabetes. In 1994, I too had unhealthy health numbers and weight.

Today, my numbers are good as well as my weight and eating habits. I don’t live to eat. I eat to live.

Listening to people through the years, so many, many wonderful things that have happened to me should not have happened.

Wait until you reach such and such an age; you’ll see. Well, I don’t know what I’m waiting to see but I do know what I do see and I like it.

At 12:01 a.m. on July 5, 2009 I’m sure I heard God say, “Hold on tight, lady, the best is yet to come.” For my birthday gift to myself, I joined the “Y.” So here I grow again.

My thanks to everyone who has helped me reach this wonderful age. My advice? Smile easy and pray hard.
I’m a very blessed senior citizen. See you when I’m 80.

Elena Corbacio is a Fayetteville resident.

By Mary Beth Roach

Greg Tearney’s been studying, practicing and teaching martial arts for more than 40 years, but he still gets a “kick” out of it.

At 68 years of age, he has the title of hanshi; two area karate schools, or dojos; thousands of students; the distinction of being the first African-American martial arts instructor in Central New York; and a 2004 Post-Standard Achievement Award under his belt—or more accurately—under his five black belts.
He has earned 10th-degree black belts in Okinawan Goju Ryu and American Nisei Goju Ryu; an eighth-degree black belt in Okinawan Shorin-Ryu; a fourth-degree black belt in Shotokan; and a first-degree black belt in Okinawan Kobojutsu.

He has received his black belts under some of the most well-known instructors in martial arts, including Grand Masters Frank Van Lenten, Peter Urban, Frank Hargrove, and Fredrick Hamilton.

He also trained with a Central New York karate pioneer, Peter L. Musacchio.

Among the many other systems he has trained in are boxing, Aikido, Jiu Jitsu, Arnis, Gracie Jiu Jitsu, Kenjustu, and Krav Maga.

earney’s interest in martial arts goes back to the 1950s and 1960s.

A student at Nottingham High School in the late 1950s, Tearney was very athletic and competitive, having starred on both the basketball and football teams.

“In high school, I was all out. Anything you can do, I can do better,” he said.

However, upon graduation in 1959, circumstances did not allow him to continue on and play basketball in college.

“I was very discontent that I didn’t have the opportunity to take advantage of my basketball scholarships because economics and other problems in my life didn’t allow for me to pursue my college career the way I wanted to, so I was a very angry young man,” he said.

But martial arts helped him channel those feelings into a more positive direction.

He stumbled across Central New York Karate School in the mid-1960s, and since the school was near his then-place of employment, Syracuse’s Department of Public Works, Tearney enrolled.

“Once I got into martial arts, it literally saved my life,” he said. “This gave me a new motivation. It helped me to center myself. I felt as though I had achieved something. I felt the equivalent of any college graduate when I got to my fifth black belt.”

Such was the motivation that after starting his formal training in 1965, he was awarded his first black belt in 1966 and was certified in 1967.

Two years later, in 1969, he ran a program through the Bishop Foery Foundation, and moved two years later to the downtown YMCA. His first independent dojo opened in 1973 on North Salina Street.

From there, he moved to Mattydale three years later and in the mid- to late 1980s, he had two schools going: the one in Mattydale and a second one in Fairmount.

In 2004, he bought a building on Onondaga Boulevard, across from Westhill High School, and opened up Greg Tearney’s Karate and Fitness Center. In 2007, he opened up a second facility in Elm Hill Towne Center on Milton Avenue in Camillus.

His business partner is also his wife, Judy Modafferi-Tearney, 55. She began her training in 1974, and holds black belts in Okinawan Goju-Ryu, Shorin-Ryu and Kobu-Justu.

She was in the regional ratings of Karate Illustrated in the 1970s and 1980s in both Kata (forms) and Kumite (sparring).

The Tearneys’ dojos focus on the Okinawan Goju-Ryu style, which means hard-soft style, combining hard striking, such as kicks and closed hand punches, with soft open-hand circular techniques; Okinawan Shori-Ryu; Thai kickboxing for adults; karate; self-defense; Gotende-Okinawan pressure points and grappling.

Through the years, Tearney’s career has been marked by much success, and he is considered by many to be a pioneer in American Karate, with lineage in both Okinawan and Japanese Karate.

While martial arts may have helped him turn his life around in the 1960s, he also credits it with saving his life, or at least facilitating the recuperation from three major health scares in recent years.

In 1995, Tearney suffered a heart attack, which, he said, was more the result of genetics. Four years ago he had to have a hip replaced, and this past March, he had colon surgery.

Yet, the recovery from all three was enhanced by his years of being physically fit.

“Any time I’ve gone in for serious medical procedures, I’ve always had the fitness on my side,” he said. “From heart attack to my hip replacement to my colon operation, every one of those procedures, when I went in to be operated on, I was in very good shape, and my recovery was phenomenal. I was able to recover faster and more completely.”

As people get older, he said, they are going to face these challenges, but he believes that if people stay even moderately active, they will improve in every area physically as well as mentally.

“I suffer the same stiffness, maladies—my knees hurt, my hips hurt, but they don’t hurt as long because as soon as I start moving, things start to improve,” he said. “I go to the gym three to five times a week. I love to work out.”

“The thing that I’ve learned over the years, as long as you’re moving, you’ll be in better physical condition than if you’re just sitting around taking medication, not doing anything,” he noted.

“I still have my goals,” he said, one of which is to get a 10th degree in Shotokan. And in two years, when he turns 70, he will earn the title “hanshi sei.”

In order to be a good instructor, he said, one has to have the love and passion for martial arts.
Martial arts might be considered the family business. For example, Greg and Judy’s daughter, Alexis, is at their centers, and his oldest son, Gregory Anthony Tearney, opened his own dojo in February.

To avoid confusion with his father’s schools, Gregory A. opted to play off his middle name, “Anthony,” and call his facility Tony Tearney’s All-Star Martial Arts, which is located in the Sacred Melody Plaza on James Street in Eastwood.

“I am going to continue the legacy which my father started,” the younger Tearney said. One of Greg A.’s sons, Louis Jamar, is earning a black belt this year. A grandson, Gregory A. Tearney II, who is 8, is training with his grandfather.

And when speaking of family, both Gregs—father and son—credit patriarch James “Big Jim” Tearney as  being a source of great strength and inspiration behind so much of the family’s success.

“The Big Jim Theory,” as Gregory A. calls it, is: “If you’re going to do something, be the best at it.”

It’s a theory that is obviously serving the family well.

By Sandra Scott

This year is Rochester’s 175th birthday but people were living in Rochester when it was called Rochesterville after its founder Nathaniel Rochester, who established the settlement in 1811. In 1834 it obtained a city charter and became known as Rochester.

Often dubbed the Flower City, it was first known as the Flour City. At one point in time Rochester made more flour than any other place in the world. Even Queen Victoria reportedly stocked her kitchen with 6,000 barrels of Rochester flour because “…it made the best cakes.” In the mid-1800s Rochester became the Flower City due in a large part to nurserymen George Ellwanger and Patrick Barry then later Frederick Law Olmsted, called the Father of American Landscaping, who created the city’s park system. Other notables have left their mark on Rochester, including George Eastman, Margaret Woodbury Strong, Susan B. Anthony and George Long, Jr.

The Eastman House—George Eastman, a photographic pioneer and founder of the Eastman Kodak, made photography available to the average person by creating small, easy-to-use cameras. The motto for the camera he introduced in 1888 was, “You push the button, we do the rest.”

To visit to Eastman’s House is to learn more about the man who claimed, “I want to make Rochester the best city in which to live and work.” To that end he donated more than $100 million during his life to educational and arts institutions, public parks, hospitals and charitable organizations.

At the George Eastman House International Museum of Photography and Film see the historical development of photography in the Machines of Memory gallery, visit changing photographic exhibits, wander the gardens, and tour Eastman’s house, a National Historic Landmark.

Beside docent tours, the Eastman offers a variety of programs from film presentations in its Dryden Theater to classes centered on its historic gardens.

The Strong Museum —Margaret Woodbury Strong agreed with Plato who over 2000 years ago said, “Life must be lived as play.” A prolific collector of dolls and toys, Strong founded her namesake museum in 1968.

Today it is larger and more dynamic than ever due to a major expansion project that was completed in 2006.
The carousel and diner are still by the entrance but the museum offers new adventures for young and old.
The National Toy Hall of Fame is home to toys that have withstood the test of time. Visitors can visit Sesame Street, the Berenstain Bears, and Reading Adventureland before heading to the Dancing Wings Butterfly Garden. In a lush, humid rainforest setting there are 800 free-flying tropical butterflies. The guide explained, “Butterflies taste with their feet. They may want to taste you. They are beautiful to see but easy to injure. So watch where you step and check your body in the mirror on the way out to make sure you don’t have any hitchhikers.”

The Susan B. Anthony House—On a quiet tree-lined street the home of Susan B. Anthony tells the story of a lady who dedicated her entire life to making the United States a better place for everyone.
She first became active in the temperance movement, but because she was a woman, she was not allowed to speak at temperance rallies. This led her to join the women’s rights movement in 1852.

She dedicated her life to getting “…women their rights and nothing less.” Ignoring opposition and abuse, Anthony traveled and lectured across the nation for women’s suffrage feeling as she said, “Suffrage is the pivotal right.” She also campaigned for the abolition of slavery, women’s rights to control their own finances, and women’s labor organizations. Anthony died 14 years before women got the right to vote with the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920. It is often referred to as the Susan B. Anthony Amendment.

Sam and Mary—Rochester is another city that owes its existence to the Erie Canal, which opened in 1825, creating an affordable western route from the Atlantic Ocean to the Great Lakes. Even though Sam Patch and Mary Jemison did not live in Rochester, their legacy lives on in the names of two Erie Canal tour boats.

The Sam Patch, a replica of an 1800s Erie Canal packet boat, leaves from Pittsford for a trip on the canal traversing Lock 32. The boat’s namesake was known as the Yankee Leaper, having gained fame for jumping off waterfalls. Twice Patch successfully jumped off Niagara Falls. On his second 97-foot jump off Genesse Falls on Friday the 13th, 1829, he failed to surface.

The Mary Jemison, a 1931 historic wooden boat, honors the legacy of “the white woman of the Genesee,” who chose to remain with her adoptive Seneca family after being taken captive as a child. The Mary Jemison departs from the trendy Corn Hill area traveling the Genesse River and the Erie Canal.

As the Mary Jemison passes under several bridges, the scenery changes offering unique and different views of the Rochester area.

Family Fun—Seabreeze Park is celebrating 130 years of family fun, making it one of the world’s oldest amusement parks. The park opened in 1879 when the main attraction was the shore-side picnic area but mechanical rides soon arrived.

In 1904 George Long, Jr. and his family brought a merry-go-round to Seabreeze, beginning a family legacy that continues to this day with his great-grandchildren working at the park. It is said that the energetic Long took a break at the park and, looking out over Irondequoit Bay, said, “This is the life…”

The park has grown to include a water park with a wave pool and a variety of state-of-the-art thrill rides for all ages. Currently Seabreeze is North America’s fourth oldest operating amusement park with the Jack Rabbit the third oldest operating roller coaster.

For information about more things to see and do in and around Rochester, including the Seneca Park Zoo, the Memorial Art Gallery, self-guided walking tours, and a variety of festivals, check visitrochester.com or call 800-677-7282

In the past several years, many communities, including Syracuse, have developed programs to appeal to “active aging” populations. Offering courses and activities that help adults stay intellectually active and make new friends is nothing new to Syracuse University.

SU’s Institute for Retired Professionals (IRP) offers a great opportunity to hear from engaging speakers on important topics and to meet people with similar interests.

IRP was established in 1972 and was one of the first lifelong learning institutes in the country. Members hear from experts on a variety of topics, from history and the arts to current events. Returning speakers have included political scientist Robert McClure, writer Sean Kirst, and local historian Dennis Connors.

“In retirement, my interests are in economics— finance, health, world events, and a little bit of everything else,” said IRP member and retired school teacher Tom Petro. “Twice monthly, I enjoy very qualified speakers who present information and take questions. This is part of a very good retirement.”

In addition to bi-monthly meetings, IRP organizes special activities such as tours and exhibits. “IRP is a great opportunity to learn more about our community and it also offers an opportunity to make new friends,” said IRP member Mary Lou Karrat.

Participants include teachers, engineers, homemakers, librarians and many other professionals — a mix of viewpoints leading to lively discussions.

Want to get involved? Meetings are held from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. on the first and third Thursdays of the month. Coffee, tea, and cookies are provided and attendees are invited to bring a bag lunch.

Sessions are held in an easily-accessible meeting space, just a few miles from campus and downtown.
For complete directions and more information, visit uc.syr.edu/IRP or call (315) 443-4846. (Submitted editorial)

By Nancy Haus

So, when do Baby Boomers technically become “senior citizens?” If you use the Boom’s peak years as a guideline, 63 year olds are officially senior citizens. Yuk!

Traditionally, we’ve called “old people” seniors or the elderly or aged. For years, we’ve judged them as fragile and more prone to disease, syndromes, and sickness than other adults, primarily because they had to live—and die—with the lack of medical advances.

They even created a name for the medical study of the aging process—gerontology, and the study of diseases that afflict the elderly—geriatrics. For many, these terms are profoundly demeaning and stigmatizing.

Baby Boomers who are beginning to enter the world of “senior citizen-hood” don’t all feel good about being typecast as “old” simply because they aren’t.

Nowadays, “70 is the new 50.” Try to identify actual “senior citizens” versus “boomers” from a group of people of mixed ages. It’s challenging.

Still, ageism exists—the age-related prejudice resulting from stereotyping and discriminating against individuals or groups. It is a set of beliefs, attitudes, norms, and values—casual or organized—used to justify age-based disparity and intolerance. Those who embrace it seem to forget that they too will be senior citizens one day.

Thanks to major advances in public health and medicine, today’s average 60-year-old can expect to live to the age of 83, and millions will continue well into their 90s. This longevity revolution has spawned a new, largely unrecognized stage of life, nestled between middle age and old age, spanning the period from 60 to 80.

So what do we call that age group? As Boomers enter their 60s, they are confronting questions like “What’s next?” and “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?”

Even now, you can still hear them saying, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”

And there are some indisputable advantages to aging (should you consider them benefits):

• At 60, you can get a senior citizen identification card, free membership in a lawyer referral program, stay in an elderhostel, and get free income tax preparation.

• At 62, the ante goes up as you can obtain early retirement Social Security, reduced-fare transportation programs, free clam and oyster digging licenses, free passes to state parks and historic sites, and, for $10, you can get a “Golden Age” lifetime pass to national parks and historic sites.

• Age 65 gets you free annual flu shots, Medicare, a pharmaceutical assistance program (PAAD), and a veteran’s pension (where applicable).

• By the time you hit 70, you hit the jackpot with no paybacks to Social Security for earned income, and a free fishing license.

Who knew?

Baby Boomers have become comfortable about who they are as a group. Most have survived the “I care what other people think” stage of their lives, focusing now on doing what they think is right for them. They are more honest about themselves and expect the same from others.

The realization that they are a fusion of their life experiences is what makes the new senior citizens so inspiring. They continue to apply their vast knowledge daily and don’t let retirement mean surrendering their mind. They remain active and share their time with others, which keeps them young.

The Corporation for National and Community Services believes that “Baby Boomers represent a highly talented and motivated segment of the population we can draw from to help solve some of our most challenging social problems.” The CNCS’ objective is to capture their talents, skills, energy, and experience to resolve local and national needs.

So Baby Boomers, anything is possible with your life. Just because you are over 50 and facing retirement doesn’t mean that your adventures are over. For some, they may just be starting. Think about it, maybe it’s time to re-invent yourself.

They used to say “Life begins at 40.” What age does it begin at now?

Some background—Today’s senior citizens were born between the 1930s and 1945, during the Great Depression and World War II.

Their families plummeted from the wealth and good times of the ‘20s to enduring the loss of jobs, homes and farms, unemployment lines, soup lines, and shattered dreams with family funds wiped out, and no real prospects in life. The ‘40s found them answering President Roosevelt’s call to defend democracy.

Women replaced men in factories, manufacturing goods for the war effort. Consequently, they discovered independence while becoming family breadwinners. When the soldiers came home, women returned to homemaking and imparted their newly found individualism onto their children—the future Baby Boomers. But life as they’d known it changed drastically.

When couples reunited in 1946—the official beginning of the Baby Boomer era—the G.I. Bill gave money to soldiers to further their education, purchase housing, and start families. And start families they did, with an astounding population increase of 7,573,000. With women’s biological time clocks ticking away, those who had worked in the war effort began having babies, with the Boom’s peak years occurring between 1952 and 1957.

Present-day senior citizens again answered the call to fight for their country in the Korean War of the early ‘50s—this time during President Truman’s administration. Still, there was a surge in buying homes, cars, furniture, and appliances that lasted until the 1958 recession. With two wars and a recession under their belts, they became known as “The Greatest Generation.”

Today’s senior citizens clung to each other then and to organizations like the USO as they danced away their cares to big bands like the Dorseys and Glen Miller and listened on the radio to Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and the war news.

Those were their days despite the ravages of war. They helped each other through and survived.

But they lived at a time when medical advances had not yet emerged, so they accepted growing old with their peers, faced with numerous unfamiliar diseases, and watched many of the friends they had endured so much with pass away before them.

Their children, Baby Boomers, were born between 1946 and 1964. 2008 estimates indicate that there are 75 million Boomers in the United States and another 6 million in Canada, and 39 million senior citizens. Both groups comprise the largest age demographic in the United States.

Boomers are now approaching retirement, or maybe not. They experienced the Korean War, the assassinations of President John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, and Martin Luther King as well as the Vietnam War.

Boomers ushered in rock ‘n’ roll, Elvis, and Buddy Holly. They wore poodle skirts and watched kids dance on Dick Clark’s “American Bandstand.”

They welcomed the Beatles and the Rolling Stones to the States, screaming as they sang their first songs on The Ed Sullivan Show. Is it possible that the same Beatles and Stones are already “senior citizens” too?
Some of the marks left by the Baby Boomer generation were regrettable like illegal drug use, free sex flaunted especially by the hippie generation, and protesting the Vietnam War with guns, killings, flag and draft card burnings, and a mass exodus to Canada to avoid the draft. Well-meaning parents had raised a generation so focused on “independent” consciousness, they became unmanageable.

Eventually, this independent nature generated some tremendous breakthroughs for society, like the invention and consequent boom of computers. Women became a force to be reckoned with in the marketplace. Baby Boomers still lead our economy in our largest corporations. They now have (or had) more money to retire with, so their choices likely differ from that of their predecessors. They will probably retire wealthier and almost certainly in better health. This broadens their choices of retirement locations and housing considerably, not something they thought they’d have to contemplate so soon.

Big question—The one problem that remains is what to call them.

There’s no name to accurately describe this group. But if you have one that you think fits, or that you would be comfortable living with, e-mail me at newstartnan@gmail.com, and we’ll post the results next time.

Taking the grandkids on vacation is what the travel industry calls intergenerational travel, and it’s become increasingly popular in recent years. Here’s what you should know.

Growing Trend—According to the Yankelovich Partners National Leisure Travel Monitor, nearly 30 percent of traveling grandparents have taken at least one trip with a grandchild over the past year. Vacationing with your grandkids is a great way to have fun and strengthen your relationships, especially if you live far away and don’t get a chance to see them that often.

Travel Companies—Today there are a number of travel organizations and companies that offer specialized vacation packages for grandparents and grandchildren. This is a nice way to go because they plan everything for you, with most activities for the two generations together, but some just for adults so you can get an occasional breather.

Available in all price ranges, these tours are typically designed for children between age 7 to 17 or 18, and are usually scheduled in the summer, or sometimes during winter breaks, when the kids are out of school. Here are some top tour companies that will take you and your grandkids on a fun, well-planned vacation.

Elderhostel—For an educational and relatively low-cost vacation, Elderhostel, the world’s largest educational travel organization for adults 55 and over, offers a wide variety of trips for grandparents and grandchildren too. Visit www.elderhostel.org (or call 800-454-5768) and click on “Grandparent Travel” for a list of more than 300 vacation plans throughout the U.S. and abroad. Sierra Club—If you’re the outdoorsy type, the Sierra Club (www.sierraclub.org/outings, 415-977-5522) offers a variety of affordable family outings and local outings near you to choose from. They also offer an annual week-long “Just for Grandparents and Grandkids” outing in July in Tahoe National Forest, California. Cost: $545 per adult and $445 per child.

Grandtravel—This is the first company to send grandparents and grandchildren (aged 7 to 17) off on vacation together. Grandtravel (www.grandtrvl.com; 800-247-7651) offers seven to 13-day luxury tours scheduled in July and August with destinations to Washington D.C. and Williamsburg, Alaska, Italy, London and Paris, and New Zealand. These trips are educational (led by teacher-escorts), limited to 30 or fewer participants and expensive ranging between $3,000 and $7,200 per person.

Generations Touring Company—This is another deluxe tour operator that specializes in intergeneration travel. They offer a variety of week-long tours to destinations like the Grand Canyon, Peru, and the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador. Cost for all tours range between $2,100 and $4,000 per person. www.generationstouringcompany. com, 888-415-9100.

Consider Cruising—Another popular option to consider is to take your grandkids on a cruise. This offers a safe and secure environment that’s pretty affordable with plenty of facilities, activities and dining options to keep everyone happy. For Families (www. cruisesforfamilies.com; 877-386-9243).

The 83-year-old says after his wife died almost five years ago, it took some time to heal from the loss. The couple married after O’neil returned home after serving in World War II. It was 57 years of memories that he had to make peace with before he could move forward.

“She told me before she left that she didn’t want me to be alone,” he says while sitting in the home they shared in the east part of Rochester.

The few dates he has been on since his wife’s death have not ended in a love connection. Mainly, he has gone to dinner with old friends who have lost their husband and share similar circumstances.

“Some women may have wanted to go further, but they were not my type,” he said.

O’neil considers himself to be an outdoorsmen and would like to spend time traveling with a companion. As a younger man he enjoyed dancing the waltz, polka and the fox trot. He is eager to try some new moves, now that he has had hip replacement surgery.

He said the hard part of living alone is the boredom.

He stays active, but is not as connected with mainstream culture as he would like to be. He said that younger generations become intimate too easily and don’t take the time to develop a friendship before they have sex.

“I treat a woman like a lady,” he said. “I don’t say come on babe let’s jump in bed.”

O’neil spends his days watching figure skating and TV show CSI and listening to Josh Groban and Shania Twain. But he does not use a computer and is not interested in some of the more graphic programming available.

He said on dates it is easy to get caught up talking about the past, but that it is usually too emotionally charged and can ruin a date.

“Talk about the weather if you have too, but be in the moment,” he said.

He said the biggest fear someone in his position has is being taken advantage of by a woman who may be looking for him for monetary support.

55 PLUS contacted the office of the aging and Elder Source to try to find more information about seniors living alone in the Rochester area, but were told that their lifestyle choices were not tracked.
Statistics aside, it is common knowledge that some elderly individuals face difficult changes such as the death of a spouse or medical problems. This can lead to depression, especially in those without a strong support system.

Left alone, depression not only prevents older adults from enjoying life like they could, it also takes a heavy toll on health. But, learning how to spot the signs of depression and find effective ways to combat it can help people can remain happy and vibrant throughout the golden years. Depression does not have to be a normal or necessary part of aging.

According to the hundreds of online sites for seniors, the first thing you need to do when searching for elderly love is to put yourself in a position that you can meet new people.

There are several options to getting you out and back in the dating scene. Contact your local senior center and see what is offered. Many offer classes that range from learning about computers to pottery. The shared interest gives seniors something in common and this will be very important when talking to someone new.
At the suburban senior center, one of many places that service older adults in the Rochester area, the approximate membership is 1,300 people. The membership fee is free and members choose from participating in various activities that include ping-pong and line dancing.

Steve Bonacci, 64, a clerk at the facility, explained the theory behind the program.

“People meet not by design,” he said. “We provide the opportunity to make the coincidence happen.”
The center’s main priority is to improve quality of life and good health. Currently, they are hoping to extend hours to further sustain their goal.

“Our director’s philosophy is a senior’s life does not stop at 5 p.m. on Friday evening and resume at 9 a.m. Monday morning,” Bonacci said.

If you don’t feel comfortable in this type of situation, you may want to try an online senior dating service. Often, there is a fee to join, and then you give them information about yourself and a picture. After you have done this, you will be able to at other people that have done the same thing and see if there is anyone that you think you would like to ask out.

It is very important that the information you give about yourself is the truth, as people you date may start to think you are something that you cannot back up. Also, when you are looking through the other elderly singles that are available, the most important thing for you to look for is someone that has similar interests as you. This will ensure that you have something to talk about, and will keep the conversation flowing all night.

By using a dating service, you will be meeting other seniors that are also looking for love. This will take away some of the awkwardness and also some of the fear of rejection. Also, if the person isn’t interested in you, they just won’t contact you instead of having to tell you.

What remains in O’neil’s future is unknown at the moment, but now that he has put some of the darker days behind him he is hoping to meet new people and begin again.

“I no longer want to wake up and look at an empty house,” he said. “I’m ready to date romantically.”

By Shannon Ferguson