On Being 90

By Marvin Druger  |  Email: mdruger@syr.edu

Wagner Dotto, publisher of 55 Plus magazine, asked me to write a frank article about what it’s really like to be 90 years old.

Until he requested this article, I barely thought about it. Then reality struck.

I realized that I had reached 90 and wondered “How did I get so old so fast?”

Since everyone is not lucky enough to reach 90, I decided to follow his advice and write the requested article.

I celebrated my 90th birthday with a huge party at Heroy Geology Building on the Syracuse University campus. More than 100 friends, family and others attended the celebration. The invitation stated:

“Birthdays are great,

Parties are fun,

No presents required,

But Marvin wants one.

If you bring a present

Don’t spend much money,

Bet something that’s

Cheap and funny.”

Also, people could voluntarily contribute to a fund for making some renovations in the Patricia Meyers Druger Astronomy Learning Center in Holden Observatory in my honor.

After greeting many people at the party, I began to wonder: “What the hell am I doing still vertical at age 90 when so many others never make it that far?”

First, I have to acknowledge my family. I had a remarkable wife who died in 2014 from metastatic lung cancer. We spent about 60 years together before she passed away. I now have three grown children and seven grandchildren. They all watch over me and treat me as though I was 100. A grandson and granddaughter stood behind me as I gave a speech at the party to make sure that I didn’t keel over. The family calls me regularly and they panic if I don’t answer the phone right away. Having such a devoted family is wonderful. When the chips are down your family is there for you.

Secondly, I was fortunate enough to meet a lovely woman at Wegmans who has been my “girlfriend” for about 10 years. We have traveled together, had many dates and have developed a deep affection for each other. At 90, most men don’t have a second chance at love.

Love is especially essential in old age. We all need someone to love and someone to love us. Another form of love that I have received has come from the 50,000 students whose lives I had the privilege to influence in a positive way.

Thirdly, being 90 means facing reality. The sad truth is that 10 out of 10 people die, so the risk is very high and becomes higher as we age. Planning at this stage is difficult, but is necessary. I once asked Story Musgrave, the renowned astronaut who did the spacewalk to fix the Hubble telescope, “What’s your next big project.” His response was, “I’m preparing to die.” I laughed at his remark, but I’m not laughing anymore.

What shall I do with all my valuable treasures? In 90 years, I have accumulated a huge amount of “priceless” treasures that clutter my house. When my brother passed away a few years ago, he also had accumulated a large amount of “indispensable” items. We went to his apartment to clean things up. We threw most of his “treasures” out of the window into a large bin outside the house. So much for “indispensable” items.

Another inevitable aspect of being 90 is that health problems become more critical. In my lifetime. I have had my share of health problems, but I survived them all. The truth is that, as we grow older we are bound to get something that we don’t want. Right now, I am recovering from major surgery for scar tissue in my intestine. My intestine looks like a jigsaw puzzle. I lost considerate weight and my mobility has suffered. I can no longer jog or even walk quickly. I have observed many people my age who have similar mobility problems. At my age, canes, walkers and wheelchairs are not uncommon. So far, I refuse to use these devices — but, eventually, I may have to.

One of my themes is to DO MORE before I HAVE TO DO less. So, despite dwindling motivation, I force myself to be as mentally and physically active as possible.

I write articles for 55 Plus magazine, do poetry readings, conduct historical tours of Syracuse University, have a radio program (temporarily suspended due to staffing problems) (i.e., Science on the Radio), direct a Saturday science enrichment program for high school students (i.e., Frontiers of Science), have books published (i.e., Strange Creatures and Other Poems About Life — Newman Springs Publishing) and am completing a new book  (More Misadventures of Marvin) that is a sequel to “The Misadventures of Marvin” — Syracuse University Press and other activities.

Being mentally and physically active are essential for survival at age 90. Despite reduced mobility and Syracuse weather, I try to take a long walk every day, although motivation is sometimes lacking.

Loneliness creeps in as we grow older. Good friends suddenly disappear. Unfortunately, spouses do not usually die at the same time and one spouse usually has to go on alone. I still have episodes of loneliness and depression about the loss of Pat.

Being 90 is a blessing and a curse. Many others never make it that far. I have no regrets about my life. I have had an amazing career and have had so many memorable experiences. Pat once told me that, on a scale of one to 10 with 10 being the best, her life was a 10. I jokingly replied, “Mine was a six.”

Right now, I survive on my mouth, my mind and my money. When I told that to my son, he said, “Mostly your mouth.”

The curse is that we can’t get younger. No matter what we do, infirmities develop and old age pays its toll. When someone tells me “You look great,” they are probably really thinking, “I thought you were dead.” We get more philosophical as we age. I think more about the meaning of life and death. When I get upset, my attitude now is to “Let it go.” “It’s not really that important” and “this too shall pass.”

It’s not easy to maintain a positive attitude, but that’s what we must do. I’ll end this article with a poem I wrote about being 90.

 

On Being 90

By Marvin Druger

 

Life has turned another page,

You feel the aches of older age,

But even though it’s hard to run,

Being 90 can be fun,

You can think and laugh and talk,

Even though it’s hard to walk,   

You can’t hop up from the floor,

But your life has more in store,

Your memories of happy days,

Make 90 bright in many ways,

And think about the future too,

Each year brings you something new,

People think of you each day,

And that’s what counts

On your 90th birthday.

 

May you all reach this golden time of life. Good luck.